Looks like Four of a Kind

"Four of a Kind" Cassius Marcellus Coolidge

I recently read a list in a magazine out of LA about how artists can sell their work-specifically painters. I CANNOT resist a list.The list read as follows:

Tips for artists who want to sell

* Generally speaking paintings with light colors sell more quickly than paintings with dark colors .

* Subjects that sell well-: Madonna and Child, Landscapes, flower paintings, still lifes (free of morbid props...dead birds, etc.)nudes, marine pictures, abstracts and surrealism.

* Subject matter is important. It has been said that paintings with cows and hens in them collect dust...while the same paintings with bulls and roosters sell.

This list made me completely dispeptic. Hiccup-py actually. Bright colors? Yet Van Gogh only sold works to his family in his lifetime- no one else would touch em. Dark Paintings- you mean like anything by Rembrandt or perhaps...ooo the second most recognizable painting (arguably) in the world; the Mona Lisa?

I once dated- very briefly, a man named Richard- he had an awful last name that sounded very much like a dead wet fish being slapped on a countertop- that, in my mind made a long-term relationship unthinkable. No, really. His issue (aside from his surname) he could not tell good art from bad. And he was ironically in a position to advise large corporations on how to invest money in art as a tax shelter. He described this...disability and likened it to being color-blind. It all just looked like paint (or ink, or whatever) applied to a flat surface. He wanted me to teach him- give him the Cliff Notes actually- as to how he could immediately identify good art from bad. I goggled. I asked him- You mean- you want me to give you...examples of good and bad art? Like- Dogs Playing Poker-bad- American Gothic-good?

Dogs playing Poker? he said. Yes- you know, 4 dogs playing-- He stopped me- he said YEAH I know- I LOVE that painting- it makes me laugh. And the dogs look really, real. I have one in my HOUSE.

Oh. Oops.

Years later there is a lesson in all this. To my mind what makes a piece of art successful-is liking it. Remembering it and on whatever level- laughter, tears or being moved to your wallet. Well- that's what art IS. Or should aspire to be. A vision of life slightly better than it is. And without criticism the job market for critics (and experts) is pretty bleak. So if what moves you is four of a kind- that's still a pretty good hand. Ultimately- the expert opinion just becomes a lot of cock and bull.

:) X