This just in...

As things wind down at work I have been getting taken to breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week by an endless stream of wonderful well-wishers. The result of this bacchanal is an excess of sleepiness (and some weepiness) brought on by reminiscing and an excess of carbs. To battle off the doldrums, if not the calories, I took a look at the news online. When not laughing I was also vaguely alarmed. My comments are in italics.

Seniors staying Frisky into 70's and 80's

Sex with a partner in the previous year was reported by 73 percent of people ages 57 to 64; 53 percent of those ages 64 to 75, and 26 percent of people 75 to 85. Of those who were active, most said they did it two to three times a month or more.

GRANDPARENTS getting frisky- with more success than me- this was not as amusing as it was at 1st glance...

Woman Sets fire to husband's penis

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation.

A rather unfortunate use of the word "climax" I thought

Belching moose add to global warming

A grown moose belches out methane gas equivalent to 2,100 kilograms (4,630 pounds) of carbon dioxide a year, contributing to global warming, Norwegian researchers said Wednesday. That is more than twice the amount of CO2 emitted on a round-trip flight across the Atlantic Ocean from Oslo to the Chilean capital Santiago, according to Scandinavian Airlines.

Rudeness kills- don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Somewhere a polar bear is stranded on an ice floe because Moose (Meese? Mooses?) can't handle their legumes.

British dwarf's penis gets stuck to hoover

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Several questions here- but in the interest of good taste I will keep it short (oh no!) An act that went "horribly awry"? What was the scenario had it gone well? The hoover and the dwarf marry? A "happy ending"?

Atlanta considers banning baggy pants

Baggy pants that show boxer shorts or thongs would be illegal under a proposed amendment to Atlanta's indecency laws. The amendment states that sagging pants are an "epidemic" that is becoming a "major concern" around the country. The proposed ordinance would also bar women from showing the strap of a thong beneath their pants. They would also be prohibited from wearing jogging bras in public or show a bra strap.

The proposed ordinance states that "the indecent exposure of his or her undergarments" would be unlawful in a public place. It would go in the same portion of the city code that outlaws sex in public and the exposure or fondling of genitals.

OK a.) If the alternative were no underwear at all how would the powers that be in Atlanta feel? Remember the absolute horror when women burned their bras (ok the WOMEN were horrified- men were offering Zippos)? I personally would prefer seeing a jogging bra in full view than a big girl running past threatening to give herself 2 black eyes.

X.)With this ordinance you have virtually insured that Madonna (and all the wanna-be's that followed her) will never visit Atlanta (hmmm have possibly discovered true intent of this particular bit of law).

lobster.) The BIG question- WHO is it harming? A flash of bra strap, coyly pulled up has ever been a flirtatious little move on the part of women EVERYWHERE. I think Thomas Jefferson would be horrified to hear that government had invaded this level of any citizen's life- and would be tickled to death if Sally Hemmings flashed him a bit of thong... In this light, I believe that requiring people to cover up to this extent is not only wrong...

It's darned unpatriotic!

:) X