I have been threatening for years to write this. The time has come.
It's true. Everything I know about love I learned from Le Polecat Pew- aka Pepe LePew. This entire entry must be read in a really BAD French accent
He is romantic. He is attractive- and will tell you so himself. And he knows what the petit femme pussycats like
whether they are aware of it at the time or not. Eventually- through the threat of imminent death or clogged nasal passages, Pepe always gets the girl. I have dissected his techiques
Item one: Appearance
No matter how attractive one is- personal toilette must never be neglected. The little ones will appreciate the attention you lavish on yourself- no?
Item Two: Be Fit
Time at the gym is critical. The pursuit of l' amour can be at times strenuous, yes? And you never know what pretty little things may be "hanging around". Mrrrow, rowwwww.
Item Three: Never Admit Defeat!
An amour's behavior is not always a clear indication of their true feelings- do not be discouraged! After the first ten or twelve times they run away, they may not be in love, but they will be very, very tired! Eh Voila!
Item Four: Keep Love Alive
Once you have captured (or cornered- it is merely semantics...) your heart's desire- keep things fresh with little games like the Postman and the frightened little belle femme pussycat. At the least it will prevent the object of your desire from running because they did not recognize you dressed as William (kiss and) Tell shooting the arrow of love. Remember - the look in her eyes is not dismay at seeing you- she is just very happy you have returned and is too shy to show it!
Five: The Happy Ending
If you have followed this advice, no self respecting pussycat can resist one so smitten. In the falling in love one hits oneself in the head often enough- dizziness or love- who can say?
Six: The Ultimate Philosophy
Should the object of your love not succumb to your charms- C'est la Guerre- there is always another pussycat!
Abientot!
:) X
2 comments:
oh, mah cherie... mah leetle eiffel tower of passion... mah petite croissant du jour...
we are falling under ze spell, non?
ma petite singe...mais oui! She has fallen under ze spell for sure, je pense..
Post a Comment