The Leader of the Band

And here is the key
To a house far away
Where I used to live
As a child.
They tore down the building
When I moved away
And left the key unreconciled.

Souvenirs- Dan Fogelberg

Christmas. I have always felt that Santa's bag was a mixed one. Lots of presents to get- upside. Downside: finding presents to give- and heaven help me, the right one (the internal pressure on this one for me is the same strength used to turn coal into diamonds) Tons of great foods (the office today offered a cornucopia heavy on chocolate covered salty things -breakfast this morning was dark chocolate covered popcorn- I had em with a glass of milk) but alas little time in the holiday hubbub to get to the gym. And visiting my friends- spending time, precious time with Nikki who will be older and a lot less a little girl the next time I see her- but the upside- she grows like the most amazing flower and there is joy in that. And saying good-bye to those far-flung friends- feeling the tear as I drive away into a gray midwestern morning- the upside- I'm driving- it still rocks. And there is so much, so much, to come home to. You know who you are.

And then a note, an e-mail, Dan Fogelberg died at 56. It seems so... young. 56 years old- shouldn't there be some sort of divine dispensation for talent? For those people whose gift- in this case whose music, is so intricately entwined in memories our lives? But there isn't. What is beautiful and oh so fine is too often fleeting.

And so it goes- I listen to the songs. I remember those times and I am grateful. For the music that brings those times so close that I taste the wine of those moments on my lips, sweeter for the aging and the bitterness of such a young vintage now mellowed and fine. I choose to be sad for this moment because when beauty passes it is fitting to grieve and I rejoice for the moments that this sad, sad death brought back for a visit.

And here is a sunrise
To set on your sill.
The ghosts of the dawn
Moving near.
They pass through your sorrow
And leave you quite still...
Sitting among souvenirs.