Ways to have fun at the holidays

Ralph Guild...embellished

I am loving this holiday season. Loving the travelling and the coming home- it's all good. HOWEVER. Not so many folks share this point of view and seem to need to INFLICT their crankiness on those of us content to fa-la-la our way through the season. Strangely enough both my examples happened THIS week, on the subway.

Yesterday a man who spent a great deal of money buying some high-maintenance female a Chanel purse for the holiday took an inordinate amount of glee pokng me in the back with the huge honking shopping bag (with razor enhanced corners by the feel of it) on the subway.

Tuesday, when I was VERY late for dinner at the fabulous Leo's Grandevous whith a lovely bunch of folks (I hate being late) the trains were delayed and each "E" train was more crowded than the last, not allowing so much as a shopping bag, much less the shopping bag OWNER onto the train. Finally I WEDGED myself into a space that would have made a supermodel "suck-it-in" and two MORE people squished in behind me. I have been less intimate with LOVERS than I was at that moment to the people around me on the train. Just to the east of my right ear a woman started shrieking. "OH NO- there is NO more room in here- don't even THINK about getting on..." OOps- our bad- we did not know this was HER train.

So. I figure there are a couple of ways when- not desperately depressed, but slightly tweaked, you can cheer yourself up.

I will add them as I come up with them (I get tweaked pretty often)

Thing 1. Dress up busts in museums. Let's face it- busts are a way of a person saying- I am IMPORTANT- but only from the neck up. It is the sculpture equivalent of a dickie (a fake shirt front that goes under a sweater or jacket thus freeing the wearer from putting on extra clothes...it's a goofy form of clothing) Anyway- they are just ASKING to be dressed up as, unlike whole statues... you can usually reach their heads. The statue of Ralph Guild (shown fully dressed above) was at the Museum of Radio and Broadcasting and ... I had help. I find it advisable when committing a crime, to have a partner. It helps if the partner is a little kid- they are harder to arrest, and they giggle.

And speaking of giggling-

Thing 2. Go to the nearest large toy store and find the Tickle Me Elmos. Begin at one end of the display and start tickling. See if you can get all the Elmos going at once. Before they throw you out of the store.

In a more traditional realm:

Thing 3. Kiss Sidewalk Santas. They are cold. They are bored. This wakes them up. Avoid the ones with yellow beards- smoking Santas do not taste so good.

:)X